Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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