I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
