Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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