oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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