Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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