Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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