you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
