Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
