Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
