dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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