I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
