dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
