I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
