she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
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How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.