i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Green mimosas i think yes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you never un-have a 4some
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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