is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
