I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
