Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just pee around me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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