He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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