Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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