if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you had me at cake vodka
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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