I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
