He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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