whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
