Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.