I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.