forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
nutella sex= disaster
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??