we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best