This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
