I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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