You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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