Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
