Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
