apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
