This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
