I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
