There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
