Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize