GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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