How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
