i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
