Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
