you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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