I just pynch a tree in the face
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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