i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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