fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
