It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
