Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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