fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
