Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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