lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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