Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking