Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
