well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
