At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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