He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
