i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
