Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
