Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
