Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
