I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
