i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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