We won't sleep together?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
