Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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