Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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