I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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