How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
