There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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