Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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