i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
