Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
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thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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