A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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