A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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