I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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