i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize