nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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