She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
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...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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