I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
